Saturday, June 27, 2015

Survival Tips for Couples (with Busy Schedules)

In the spirit of my fourth anniversary with my long time boyfriend, I dedicate a post on how we actually came to this day despite our busy schedules. 

My friend in highschool ran for student council elections. During her meeting de avance, she was asked "what will you choose- your position or your relationship with your boyfriend?" She immediately answered, "I will choose nothing. With my sense of responsibility and time management, I believe I can do both at the same time"

Being in a relationship is a responsibility. It will require time and effort. So first and foremost, ask yourself if you are ready.

Medicine school consumes almost all of your time. Even on free days, you'd rather sleep the day or might just need to advance for the hectic week to come. My boyfriend graduated business in a different university but he understands my dream and my goals. Go be with someone who will push you to your dreams and give their 100% support even if in most times they won't be your number one priority.

When you have found the one for you who will share that dream, congratulations, hold on to that person because he/she is for keeps. But you may ask, how do you actually make a relationship work when you're too preoccupied with work or with school? Here are some of the tips (that will not only aid you to a long relationship but a working relationship) that works with my boyfriend and I (thinking that four years (and going stronger) is long enough for this age and day):

  • Absence make the heart grow fonder. Being with someone 24/7 is not healthy. In time you lack things to talk about or do, and everything will seem so boring and so plain.  I see my boyfriend once a week only at most times but this distance made every date like the first one
  • If you have nothing good to say, zip your mouth. He may not agree with me with this one because he's the 'never let a day pass without fixing the problem' type of guy but sometimes if you're so mad- it turns you to a very irrational person who has nothing but harsh words to say which actually does more damage. But of course, don't let days pass without talking. Sleep your anger off and thats it, its time to talk the next morning.
  • Find your common ground. Or your common 'thing.' Find the simplest things that makes the both of you happy at the same time may it be strolling in the mall, watching movies, wakeboarding, or simply dining together. 
  • Meet halfway. You won't always agree with each other so learn to compromise. 'nuff said.
  • The Five Languages. I first read about this at Richard and Maricar Poon's blog and I agree that a couple must find their language of love. Sure we appreciate all but there will always be the one that is more important to you. One may give you the most expensive gift but won't appreciate it as much as receiving a hand written letter. Find the tickle spot of your partner.
    • Words of affirmation. Its not at all times that actions speak louder than words. Sometimes one would need to hear how much you love them or how beautiful she is. 
    • Quality Time. This is almost synonymous to quality conversations. Give them your undivided attention. This is Doj's language of love. Despite my divided attention in our dates (80% on him, 20% on my handouts) He understands how busy I am with school so he appreciates it whenever I give him time. 
    • Acts of Service. This is my language of love. I appreciate it very much when one opens the door, drives, cook for me. 
    • Gifts. Its not being materialistic but you just appreciate the thought and effort he has put into in buying that gift.
    • Physical Touch. Its not necessarily what you think, sometimes a mere touch will give you the sense of security that the one you love cares and loves you back.
  • Keep the surprises coming. The small things are the big things. Surprise him once in awhile with love letters or home cooked meals. He will appreciate that.
  • Humble yourself. If you're wrong, humble yourself, and say sorry. If he's wrong and won't admit, humble yourself, and be the better person to understand where he is coming from. Initiate the talk if you need to.
  • Put God in the center of your relationship. Probably everyone will include this in their tips. Why? Because it works. Being in a relationship does not only require love but FAITH and TRUST, too. It is through Him that we learn and reciprocate all the three elements of unconditional love.
To end this note, I just want to greet my boyfriend a happy fourth anniversary. Thanking you for making this relationship a two man team:) i love you lots. ❤️

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